What is behind “The Queen of The Castle”?
“Being born is like being kidnapped-and then sold into slavery.” What would be your reaction to this Shakespearean quote? I wonder, because when I read it, at very young age, I just laughed.
Honestly, I thought it was a joke. But, after meeting many people for whom that was their way of everyday life, I felt ashamed. This is a tragic reality and significant problem for a mankind. It’s commonly known as a family oppression and I am truly sorry for being ignorant and blind when I was young. I wish with all my heart that no one, anywhere, has to experience such a painful, unjust and disturbed life. I, by chance, was spared.
As a child, Renata didn’t understand that she have been a victim since birth. She was just one of the countless victims who are robed by their own families of any rights to express their desires, concerns, speaking their mind and even the right to have a formal education. The only right she was given is the right of being a slave to serve her master. She was a slave to her father and later to her husband.
Tragically, without any understanding as a child, her thoughts and actions were naturally concentrated in one simple plea: “Please take my hand and lead me to a better future. I am all yours. I am at your mercy.”
“Come on! Hurry Up! I’ve got a delivery to do!” I was terrified because he was drinking again. The truck wasn’t far away; I could see it full of big bales of wool. My lessons at school had just started but, sadly for me, as many times before, not today. I was just thirteen years old. “Get in! Move!” He helped me into the cabin. “Go straight ahead to the next intersection, then left. Concentrate!” I was always tense around him and awkwardly uncomfortable. I felt afraid. I was afraid for a long period of time, since I was maybe six or seven. I remember we had just come back from travelling with my grandparents. I had missed him so much and was looking for him around the house. “Mum, mum … where is daddy?” “He went to the pub. Go and play in the garden, I will call you.” But, how could I just play? I wanted to see him so much. Sneaking out of the garden and onto the street wasn’t a problem at all.“Where are you, daddy?”The joy, the happiness, the anticipation of being held by his strong hands and a quick kiss on the forehead was a very special event for me because it didn’t happen every day – only when we came back from travelling somewhere. I spotted his wandering figure down the street. “Daddy … Daddy!” I was running as fast as I could with my hands stretched in front of me towards his hug, so much wanted and so much needed hug. He turned and stood still for a second. Then, he took off his heavy and dirty shoe and threw it at me. He missed. I stopped in disbelief. What did I do wrong? Did I scream too loud? Did I run too fast? Why?
I grew accustomed to the rules, I knew no other way of living. The lack of education and very limited socializing outside of my family helped to keep me trapped without questioning my imprisonment for a few more years. Was I even in a position to rebel or disagree?” I don’t think so. To do something like that you need to have some sort of support, whether inside the family or not. I needed help for myself from somebody who could not just explain my problem but guide me. My mother? A totally voiceless and agreeable to everything my father would say or do. Her only response to everything was – it’s okay. My brother was too young. My grandparents, I think, knew what was happening but took no action. I suspect that other people outside the family knew too, but did they feel the need to help me? None of them ever intervened. The message from the world around me was simple and clear. If you need help – help yourself. You are on your own. Deal with it.
HOW MUCH OPPRESSION ONE CAN TAKE AND HOW LONG ONE CAN SURVIVE? HONESTLY? NOBODY CAN GIVE YOU A STRAIGHT ANSWER FOR ONE SIMPLE REASON, WE ARE ALL SO DIFFERENT TO EACH OTHER AND OUR REACTIONS AND ACTIONS DESCRIPTIVELY CAN BE SIMILAR BUT IN REALITY ARE VERY DIFFERENT. THE TIMINGS AND TRIGGERS FOR REALIZATION, DECISION MAKING AND TAKING ACTION ARE AS DIFFERENT AS WE ARE. FOR SEVEN YEARS SHE WAS TRYING TO RUN AWAY FROM HER HUSBAND AND WAS LOCALLY KNOWN AS “RUNAWAY WIFE”. EVERY TIME, HE WOULD FIND HER , SHE WOULD RETURN. BUT ONE DAY SHE DIDN’T.
From the book:
The happiness and confidence that my freedom gave me was so much rewarding and fulfilling, regardless to difficulties. I know for sure that I will never risk it for any other rewards that life could offer. There is nothing I could have done to change my father or my husband but I could change myself. I hope that many people who were oppressed will never forget the joy and pride of saying: I’m not a victim anymore!
She changed her life dramatically by being brave and determined to change herself. She stopped to be a victim and become a successful business lady.
All she had after divorce was a necessity to survive and to provide. The concept of failure didn’t exist in her mind only the necessity and determination to build a life and to start to live towards her childhood dreams. To live in a castle, which for her since childhood was a symbol of stability that she never had; a symbol of a free spirit that she longed for and a symbol of peace and tranquility. For thirty years she was an inventive, entrepreneurial and hard working business woman. She worked for herself because without formal education there was no job for her on the Gold Coast.
She borrowed money from everywhere and built a single slide on Surface Paradise. In 14 month she sold it for a hefty profit and moved into real estate. Without any knowledge, relying on her own reasoning and common sense, she was buying, selling, building and refurbishing houses, as a single operator and owned around 30 houses after just few years. During that time she became a co-founder of a outdoor marketing company “Ad-a Cab” and because of her single brilliant idea and can do attitude this company went from local to national and then international. Because of her own unique method of using common sense and reasoning in every business venture she took on – success was inevitable.
I am not surprised that one of the testimonials from a Manager of an Australian Building Society states: “… a raw book with fascinating information, hard to read at first but so interesting it needs to be taken seriously. Definitely schools would prepare their students if it was included in their curriculum both in Business and English studies… Lucid, entertaining it succeeds brilliantly in the mission to explain how to succeed in making money.”
It is true that a few chapters in my book reveal rare insights of how Renata thought and acted in the business, how she discovered her own formula to achieve success by staying true to herself.
However, most of the content will take you into the very real experiences of her fascinating life: love and divorce, invitation to Hollywood, business ventures, traveling adventures and even an unreported attempt to murder my heroine by her own friend.
Generally, it is all about the meaning of life and real life answer to the question: Can we achieve our dreams and can we live our dreams?
My warmest regards,
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