What makes one happy- something that you want and get or the something that you already have and are able to appreciate? The something that you want and get – involves two steps. First, you have to understand and decide what you want, exactly, and then pursue it till you get it. This is risky but exciting. It has thrilling energy in the act of persuasion, but what if you will never get what you want? Isn’t it depressing to even think about it? What if the concept of what you want will be lost in the process of identification? What if a dream, an idea of having something or somebody, will never be yours? What is the point then to even go that way?
What is the point of leaving yourself open to that depressing and disappointing possibility to never understand what you want or to never get what you know you want? Wouldn’t it be better to just learn to appreciate what you have? Wouldn’t this be a happier ending if all what you have to do is to look around and see what you already have? What do you have?
A car? No!
A house? No, just renting!
Loved one? Didn’t meet, yet…
What about life? Are you still breathing?
Are you still able to smell, taste, see, move, think, talk and feel; If not all, at least some of them? Aren’t you seeing the sky, sun, plants, animals and people around you? Aren’t you feeling the wind brushing your hair, making you feel cold, hot or steamy? Isn’t that enough?
Is this really enough? Hmmm…
Last week I was staying with my friend at her sister’s house which is not hers, in reality. She and her husband are the caretakers of a luxuries property in the Hinterland. A gorgeous villa, surrounded by 80 acres of pristine nature, – the real heaven on Earth! It doesn’t matter if you scream – nobody will hear you. With all its fascinating beauty and comfort it is a perfect setting for Steven King’s weird imagination when contrast between peacefulness and madness strikes you behind with the axe. Ouch!
But the caretakers are as happy as one could only dream about! They love it there. They have four dogs and two cats, and they have the ability to enjoy a peaceful life with very few possessions; with the very little that they have, their old car, the house they can live in, and basically nothing else. However, they are happy. They’re not just happy – they are truly happy! When you ask them what else do they want – they get confused; they haven’t thought of it and they are happy with what they have. Wow!
Everyone that I met during the last year had big lists of wishes and dreams. They attend countless workshops and seminars in order to learn the ‘real’ secrets of how to become eye watering rich. So rich, that they can have several luxury cars, a few houses around the world with caretakers, private drivers, gourmet cooks, and a helicopter or jet plane. The amount of stress incurred in going to get it, – is horrifying; it makes them busy, extremely busy – too busy to go anywhere to enjoy a little bit of life. They MUST strive – to learn, to comprehend, to understand and to master their step-by-step process of pursuing their dream to have it all, eventually. “Oh, yes we can! With determination and passion we will! Soon, we will be truly happy!”
Happiness is not a commodity that you can buy, exchange, borrow or accrue somehow because you will laugh all the way to the bank, one day. No way! There is no grant or guarantee that you will get it all if you pursue it harder, longer or by constantly bashing modern ‘bibles’ of the ‘how to become rich’ genre. The harder you will try the less happy will your life be during that process because of all the stress, sleepless nights, high anxiety and unavoidable disappointments – it’s never smooth and comfy!
What they, and of course I, have forgotten is that the number of cars, houses, helicopters or black caviar for breakfast is not included in the formula for happiness. What some of you seem to have forgotten is that the real part of the equation is to be satisfied with what you already have. You need to learn to not compare quantity of what you have with others, and to contain wanting everything that is thrown at you from the Global broadcasting machine. You need to accept that you cannot have all of it – nobody can! You need to comprehend that the meaning of the ultimate possession of your life is simply your own life; the life that gives you the opportunity to see, to feel, to walk, to talk, to think and to experience the world around you, regardless of how small or big it is.
The very life you have should be appreciated as the greatest gift of all. If you will understand and accept that gift, you will feel satisfied. Once you feel satisfied you will feel joy from that satisfaction. When you feel that joy – your heart will sing and at that very moment you will feel true happiness.
As for me, I don’t have time to follow this formula. I am too busy studying the next book of how to become rich – JUST KIDDING!!!
“Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one’s values.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
My warmest regards,